That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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