OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
