Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i barfeds in our rink
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
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She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize