you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize