Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
