Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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