But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
