The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
