Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
