Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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