So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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