Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I supernannyed him into submission
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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