Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
