sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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