Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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