I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
