Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
