Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
