the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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