We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
