She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize