whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
