We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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