Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
