At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
