Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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