NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
