Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
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