Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Someone signed my nipple.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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