i permit you to call me
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
