She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe isn't a time...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love