he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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