I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
