her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
my shit smells like andre
organizing the empties. That sober.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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