Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize