He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
