To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
