I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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