she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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