Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
