People in love make me want to vomit
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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