Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
