Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
