i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
