Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Sorry about my life...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
