Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i just had sex bonerless
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
