Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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