My brain says no but my pants say off.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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