if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Randomize
