Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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