OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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