David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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