Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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