My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
