I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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