You really coming over, don't trick.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
