I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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